A night in the life of an overthinker

wake up in the night with a burning sensation in my chest

fumble for the light

click, click, click

fuck

The orange tinge lights up the ceiling

watch the city through the window

think about the people out there

asleep with their minds quiet, and their rooms warm

look around me

pillows surround my body,

as if i needed saving, even in my sleep

roll on my side and feel around for the bottle

Unscrew the cap and feel the fire fizzle out

remind myself to breathe

one

two

three

four

five

six

seven

eight

nine

ten

breathe

Turn the light off

Close my eyes

but my mind comes alive

the thoughts come in explosions

little ones at first

then bigger, stronger, scarier, more fucked up

a sound leaves my lips

sit up

Hands on my head

tears in my hands

all I want is silence

for my mind to die

so I can rest in peace

‘Please,’ I whisper, ‘please’

The begging gets more urgent as the sky gets lighter

then the sun comes up

and the pillows land on the floor

and the sheets are damp

and my hair is matted

and my throat is dry

and my eyes are sore

and I watch the city come alive

as I finally, fall asleep

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