As teenagers everyone has that one person who ‘totally misunderstands them’, that one person who ‘just doesn’t get it’. We’ve all been through it and its difficult to imagine a time when this person might become a huge part of your life, let alone a friend. But it happens, to some, to the lucky ones, like me.
She and i had a rocky start. Bickering and sulking, with me making faces behind her back. As I got older though things between us took a turn for the better. The change came in a whisper; a soft bloom of respect and admiration drew us closer. The moment was tender and existed without us even realizing or acknowledging any of it.
We were able to speak through facial expressions and over the years our bond continued to solidify. She decodes my moods, knows my favorite foods; we sit up and we talk, just about anything and everything. She was my support system. She backed me up with every decision i took, with every choice i made she stood by me, and when i lose faith, she takes my hand and helps me through the struggle.
When i left, i found it difficult to breathe. The realization of us being on two different sides of the world, hurt even my bones. It didn’t get easier. I’d go back to the memories and hold them close, soaking them in desperation. Yes i was going to see her again, but that didn’t take away the pain. Difficult is an understatement; having to be away from your best friend is tasting hell.
Our relationship isn’t something that can be conveyed through words; not even the most eloquently written piece will ever describe, validate or communicate what we have. For so long i’ve tried to tell her how much i love, admire, respect and idolize her…but the words get lodged somewhere inside my throat.
I write. It’s what i do. I convey emotion through the written word and i’ve done it well in the past. However while re reading this piece i feel as if the letters are just sitting there, not evoking any of the feelings within me. But i think that’s okay, because my mother ‘totally understands me’, she ‘just gets me’ and i love her and i miss her and i wish she was here with me…