I didn’t start out loving him. At the beginning it was the feeling of being wanted that i lusted after…it was also the reason i stayed. His childish disposition, his chuckle of a laugh, his lack of maturity, all of which started off as being deficiencies turned into anything but flaws.
We grew together, he and I. We grew together as individuals, exploring life, exploring ourselves, exploring each other. We lay privy to each others mistakes, failures, insecurities and we provided each other with a haven so safe, so sound, that even the harshest of battles couldn’t beat us. We celebrated each others successes, we encouraged and motivated and supported each other in ways family, teachers and friends wouldn’t ever understand.
It was never a ‘relationship’, it was never two people ‘in love’. We were two individuals who were falling for each other each day, each second, falling, and tripping, and tumbling and engaging in each others goodness whilst marveling at the bad. We discovered ourselves within each other, changing as two separate individuals, changing as a couple; growing and evolving into people each of us loved and respected.
The greatest thing about our bond was, because we met at a tender age we were able to devour every moment we shared together, lost, naive, innocent and still, utterly and completely vulnerable, and so we were able to be brutally honest and naked and raw and selfless, because we knew nothing. We were inexperienced. And because of this we were able to ‘grow’ into love, understanding its depths and horrors, discovering its beauty and sanctity.
Through him, I’ve discovered myself, through him I’ve found myself, and through him I will find life and love, through him i will find peace and magic, and happiness and miracles… through him I will find my whole.